Is George Pickens the Cowboys’ Savior or Their Next Train Wreck?
Alright, folks, buckle up because the Dallas Cowboys, in their infinite wisdom (or lack thereof), have decided to roll the dice on one George Pickens, formerly of the Pittsburgh Steelers. Yes, that George Pickens. The guy who, let’s just say, had a slight… disagreement… with Steelers coach Mike Tomlin. Tomlin, a man who could probably stare down a supernova and not flinch, had to tell Pickens to GROW UP. Think about that for a minute. If Mike Tomlin—whose regular season coaching record shows consistent performance with a 0.588 value—tells you to grow up, you might need to re-evaluate your life choices.
George Pickens makes a spectacular catch for the Steelers, a skill the Cowboys desperately need.
Source: dmagazine.com
So, naturally, Jerry Jones—the man whose decision-making process involves equal parts business acumen and gut feeling—decided, “Hey, why not? What’s the worst that could happen?” (Famous last words, Jerry. Famous last words.)
CeeDee Lamb: Pickens is ‘Kindhearted’ (Yeah, Right)
Now, CeeDee Lamb, who seems to be Pickens’s new bestie (probably bonded over complaining about quarterback play), is out here telling everyone that Pickens is “kindhearted.” Oh, CeeDee, you sweet summer child. I’m sure he’s just lovely at book club (if he can read, zing!). But on the field? This guy is a powder keg waiting for a spark. Remember, Lamb had 1 reception for 1 yard and 1 touchdown in 2021. Now he has to mentor a potential headcase? Good luck with that, buddy.
And, look, I get it. Pickens has talent. The dude racked up 2,841 receiving yards and 12 touchdowns in Pittsburgh, despite having quarterbacks who couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn. But talent without discipline is like a Ferrari without brakes—flashy, exciting, and ultimately headed for a brick wall. We’ve seen this movie before, Cowboys fans. Remember Pacman Jones? T.O.? The list goes on.
The Dak Prescott – Pickens Connection (Or Lack Thereof)
And speaking of brick walls, let’s talk about Dak Prescott and Pickens trying to get on the same page. Apparently, their “timing, or lack thereof,” has been on full display at training camp. Great. Just what we need. Prescott, bless his heart, trying to build chemistry with a receiver who might be too busy yelling at the refs to catch the ball. This is going to end well, I can feel it in my bones (and by “feel it in my bones,” I mean I’m developing a stress ulcer).
But wait, there’s more! Pickens, in his infinite hubris, expects to form the most potent receiver tandem in the NFL with Lamb. Did he not see Kaiir Elam pick off Prescott on Saturday? He seems to be more focused on coordinated touchdown dances. These two are going to be the “Mario Bros” of the NFL. One strong and one slightly less talented, but still capable of achieving great things together.
Mailbag Time! (Because I Need Validation)
“Hey Drew, do you think Pickens will finally get the Cowboys over the hump?”
Oh, you poor, deluded soul. The Cowboys could clone Tom Landry, and they’d still find a way to lose in the most heartbreaking fashion imaginable. So, no, I don’t think Pickens is the missing piece. He’s more likely to be the piece that flies off the car at 100 mph and takes out a pedestrian.
Kaiir Elam’s ‘Lion King’ Moment (Because Why Not?)
Speaking of absurd, let’s not forget Kaiir Elam, who intercepted Prescott and then proceeded to hoist a random baby over his head like Simba in “The Lion King.”
I’m just trying to give the people a show,” Elam said. Now, I’m no expert on child safety, but something tells me that’s frowned upon. Though, I guess it’s no more dangerous than letting Jerry Jones run your football team.
What Does This All Mean? (I’m Begging for Answers)
Here’s the thing: The Cowboys are a perpetual reality show disguised as a football team. They thrive on drama, controversy, and exceeding expectations, and eventually failing in the most spectacular way possible. Pickens fits that mold perfectly. He’s a walking headline, a highlight reel waiting to happen, and a potential locker room distraction all rolled into one beautifully flawed package.
Conclusion: Hope for the Best, Prepare for the Worst (The Cowboys Way)
So, where does that leave us? With a familiar feeling of cautiously optimistic dread. Maybe Pickens will turn into the next Randy Moss. Maybe he’ll implode and get traded to the Jets by Week 8. Either way, it’s going to be entertaining. And as a long-suffering football fan, that’s all I can really ask for. (Unless, of course, they win the Super Bowl. Then I’ll take back everything I said.)
