The Running Back Apocalypse: Who Can Save Us? Okay, people, let’s be honest: the running back position is deader than disco. Teams treat these poor bastards like disposable razors, using them ’til they’re dull and then tossing ’em in...
The Outrage! The Injustice! These Offensive Tackle Rankings Are An Affront To All That Is Holy! Alright, folks, gather ’round and let Uncle Drew tell you a story. A story of betrayal, of backstabbing, and of rankings so goddamn...
Contract Year Chaos: Who Gets the Bag? Ah, training camp. That glorious time of year when NFL players pretend to be excited about running wind sprints in 100-degree heat. But for some poor bastards, a dark cloud hangs overhead...
Has Caleb Williams Lost His Mind? (Probably Not, But Still…) Okay, folks, buckle up because this is gonna be a bumpy ride. Our alleged savior, Chicago Bears quarterback Caleb Williams, decided that instead of, I don’t know, studying film...
Rodgers Signs One-Year Deal with Pittsburgh: Is This Real Life? Okay, folks, let’s get this straight. Aaron Rodgers, the man who once held Green Bay hostage with his ayahuasca-fueled whims, is now a Pittsburgh Steeler. A Steeler! It’s like...
AFC East All-Division Team 2025: A Symphony of Disappointment (and Josh Allen) Alright, FINE. I’ll do it. Another freakin’ pre-season preview when we all KNOW the whole damn thing is gonna be wrong by Week Four because some jabroni...
Guys You’ll Either Worship or Mock Mercilessly in Two Years Alright, you glorious (and probably drunk) football fanatics, it’s that time again. Time to gaze into the crystal ball and see which college kids are gonna either save your...
The Holy Gospel of Running Backs, According to Some Nerds Alright, folks, gather ’round because ESPN’s Jeremy Fowler (who I’m sure is a lovely man, but probably wears khakis) has dropped his annual running back rankings. And wouldn’t you...
Josh Shapiro’s Stadium Drama and Pennsylvania Sports Bonanza Let me set the scene for you: Pennsylvania’s Governor Josh Shapiro, standing at Pocono Raceway, fielding questions like a linebacker dodging a blitz — only this time, no fancy tackles, just...
Alright, buckle up, because the NFL just made a move so wild it feels like they tossed strategy out the window and spun the wheel of destiny—or maybe just spun a giant hamster ball stuffed with $46 million in...