The 25 Best Moves of the 2025 NFL Offseason: A Totally Honest Rant

Alright, folks, buckle up. The 2025 NFL offseason is winding down, and it’s about time we stop pretending the endless free agency signings, trades, and draft picks are the whole story. Sure, Aaron Rodgers climbing K2 and then signing with the Pittsburgh Steelers is wild enough to dominate your group chat, but what’s next is the real tough stuff — training camp injuries, new playbooks that confuse more than inspire, and players trying to learn fresh colors while dodging flying helmets.

So let’s take a no-BS ride through the 25 smartest moves made this offseason, the ones that give their teams a shot (or at least a faint hope) at not bumbling through 2025 like a drunk at a wedding dance-off.

25 to 21: Veteran Signings That Might Actually Work

25. The Cleveland Browns Quarterback Carousel

Look, the Browns’ quarterback situation is like a reality TV show nobody asked for but can’t stop watching. Dillon Gabriel? Maybe a wishful pick. Shedeur Sanders? A lottery ticket that actually landed right (imagine that!). Kenny Pickett? The fanbase collectively shrugged and thought, “Could be worse.” It’s a circus, but hey, quantity can be quality when you desperately need a quarterback to stick.

24. Bills Snag Edge Rusher Joey Bosa

Bosa is like that hotshot kid in class who blew out his knee but still shows up to remind everyone he’s got skills. After missing 23 games in three years, his health is a question mark. But the Bills getting him for just $12.5 million this year? That’s like finding a designer jacket in the clearance bin. If he stays healthy, watch out, QB nightmares incoming.

23. Cardinals Pounce on Josh Sweat

Sweat turned Patrick Mahomes into a nervous wreck during the Super Bowl. That performance scored a fat contract in Arizona where Sweat, alongside Baron Browning and B.J. Ojulari, aims to bulldoze quarterbacks regularly. Because in the NFL, if you can’t rush the passer, you might as well play chess.

22. Eagles Lock Up Offensive Center Cam Jurgens

Jurgens was the Swiss Army knife of blocking last season — 10th best in pass block win rate among interior linemen. The Eagles coughed up a sweet 4-year, $68M deal to keep him. Smart? Absolutely. Wasting money on an offensive lineman? Let’s save that debate for another tantrum.

21. Titans Sign Guard Kevin Zeitler

The Titans’ offensive line was Swiss cheese last year, so snagging Zeitler for $9 million was like getting a reliable umbrella during a monsoon. Not flashy, but you’ll thank him when the QB isn’t face-planting into the dirt every snap.

20 to 16: Bold Moves, Bold Risks

20. Falcons Go All In on Pass Rush

Trading away a first-round pick next year to snag James Pearce Jr. was borderline lunacy. But after ranking 31st in sacks for two out of three seasons, the Falcons had no choice but to gamble big on rookies Pearce and Jalon Walker plus veteran Leonard Floyd. Pass rush or bust, baby!

19. Jaguars Trade Up for Two-Way Wizard Travis Hunter

The Jaguars emptied draft capital to get Hunter, who plays wide receiver and cornerback because apparently sleep is overrated. This move steals the spotlight from Trevor Lawrence, who desperately needs to focus on going from “meh” to “maybe good.”\

18. Aaron Rodgers Joins Steelers

Let’s not kid ourselves — Steelers with Rodgers might still look like the same clunky squad from last year. But losing both Wilson and Fields left them with a glorified practice squad quarterback carousel. Rodgers signing brings hope and hype, even if it’s mostly hope that he can turn back time.

17. Lions Add Cornerback D.J. Reed

Detroit finished last in NFC pass defense in 2024, which is like being last in a hot dog eating contest when the prize is a $1 million paycheck. With Carlton Davis III bouncing, Reed might be a slight upgrade, which for Lions fans counts as a win these days.

16. Patriots Hire Mike Vrabel

After fumbling around with Jerod Mayo’s disaster era, the Patriots put a ring on their problems by hiring no-nonsense Mike Vrabel. Drafting Will Campbell fourth overall and splurging in free agency show they want to stop embarrassing themselves ASAP.

15 to 11: Wide Receivers and Massive Changes

15. Ravens Nab Safety Malaki Starks

Eric DeCosta keeps finding draft gems like he has a crystal ball. Malaki Starks, taken 27th overall, might team up with Kyle Hamilton to form the scariest safety duo since the Batman and Robin days.

14. Steelers Make Waves with DK Metcalf Trade

The Steelers needed a No.1 receiver like a hole in the head in 2024, and Metcalf has history: three 1,000-yard seasons in six years. After George Pickens’ fate became clear, this was a no-brainer upgrade.

13. Seahawks Flip the Script

Seattle gave their offense the snow globe shake. New OC Klint Kubiak, a trade of DK Metcalf for Cooper Kupp, QB Geno Smith shipping off for Sam Darnold — it’s chaos but also a statement. They might just want a playoff appearance to show for it.

12. Jaguars Hire Liam Coen

Coen isn’t just a name; he’s Trevor Lawrence’s new quarterback whisperer, after killing it with Baker Mayfield. The hope? Repeat that magic on Florida’s sunny coast.

11. Cowboys Trade for George Pickens

Texas-sized dreams come with a 10-gallon hole, so Pickens’ presence opposite CeeDee Lamb could be the fairy dust for Dallas. Pickens’ inconsistent past is a risk, but the reward might be big if he pans out.

10 to 6: Big-Name Movers in the League

10. Rams Bring in Davante Adams

Cooper Kupp has been injured almost as often as your shady cousin’s alibi. Adams, meanwhile, is reliable as gravity. Rams are still in the playoff hunt but aging fast. Getting Adams was a veteran jolt of overdue optimism.

9. Bengals Lock Up Ja’Marr Chase and Tee Higgins

Joe Burrow’s dream duo stays intact, with Chase signing the richest non-QB contract in the NFL. Money well spent if you ask us. Now the edge rush situation needs some magic.

8. Patriots Go Defensive Shopping Spree

Their defense crumbled last year like a cookie in milk. Splashing cash on Milton Williams, Harold Landry III, Robert Spillane, and Carlton Davis III signals they’re serious about not making that mistake again.

7. Broncos Double Down on Defense

Coming off a strong defensive 2024, Broncos added San Francisco vets Talanoa Hufanga and Dre Greenlaw plus future star Jahdae Barron. Denver’s defense is gearing up to be a wall that opponents hate running into.

6. Raiders Ring in Pete Carroll and Chip Kelly

This coaching duo is the Raiders’ Hail Mary. Carroll’s Super Bowl win and Kelly’s cerebral offense could turn around a franchise desperate for respectability in the spiraling AFC West.

5 to 1: Top Impact Moves That Could Define 2025

5. Jets Grab Justin Fields

How did Pittsburgh slight Fields last year? Mystery deeper than why you’re still recovering from 2010’s pop punk. Fields is a dual-threat star, young, hungry, and cheaper than you think for an NFL starter. The Jets got a steal.

4. Vikings Power Up Trenches

14 wins but still ousted early. Vikings went nuts on offensive and defensive lines, scoring big with center Ryan Kelly, guards Will Fries and Donovan Jackson, and defensive tackles Jonathan Allen and Javon Hargrave. It’s going to be tough to bully these guys at the snap.

3. Raiders Pull a Geno Smith Surprise

Not Mahomes, but Geno finished with zero wins last year — so maybe the pressure’s off. If Smith manages 10 with Las Vegas, he’ll be legendary by default. Allegiant Stadium might just get a statue.

2. Commanders Go All-In With Deebo and Tunsil

After their surprise playoff run, Washington pumped it all into offseason chips. Deebo Samuel and Laremy Tunsil bring the kind of offensive firepower and protection that could change their playoff fortunes.

1. Bears Overhaul Their Offense for Caleb Williams

Ben Johnson’s been handed the keys to fix an offense that couldn’t protect its QB last year (they led the sack charts, wow). Adding tight end Colston Loveland and WR Luther Burden III is a big get for Williams, who desperately needs to make Year 2 a leap rather than a trip.

There you have it. The offseason that brought us some wild trades, smart signings, and enough hype to fill a touchdown celebration dance-off. But remember, football is played on the field, not the signing sheet. So let’s hope these moves translate into wins instead of just dramatic headlines and endless Twitter debates.